How criticism can shatter you self-esteem instantly…

Learning to take criticism and learn from it is important and I am grateful for my education in classical and jazz music for teaching me how to grow a thicker artistic skin. But still sometimes it takes a few words to destroy you for years.

Ten years ago I had a dozen of songs and I started asking my closest friends what they thought about them. Most didn’t care, a friend actually fell asleep while I played and another friend told me my songs were shit.
I was going through a very difficult moment in my life and it hit me hard. So I stopped writing new music.

It took me 8 years to be confident enough to share my own music with the world.
8 years where I reconstructed myself physically and mentally.
8 years practicing music as much as possible.
Opening my ears to new genres of music. Hours of music theory practice. And I also decided to regain control over my voice. So for the past 4 years, I have been attending speech therapy, then taking lessons with singing teachers in various music styles.

And then you can’t even accept compliments.

So I decided to dive in and publish For the restless, my first album. It is what it is. The perfectionist in me wants to change so many details and I’m thinking about re-recording some of the songs, and adding new ones.

I honestly wasn’t expecting anyone to like my music. For me it was about testing the waters of the music industry, and applying everything I had learnt in terms of music theory and songwriting.
And I’m happy I learnt so much along the way.

But some people started liking my music.
And I realized I was having a hard time accepting compliments.
I am so utterly convinced no one can like me and what I do, I had to let the nice words sink in.
So I started keeping track of the compliments instead of feeling uncomfortable receiving them

My tip to raise your self-esteem :
List compliments

It sounds silly I know.
But I’m sure you pay more attention to this voice in your head saying you’re a fraud and you shouldn’t even try, than to the people messaging you and telling you how they really enjoyed your art.

So each time someone says something nice to you, make a copy of that message. And each time you feel like you are not good enough, go back and read those messages. In time, it retrains your brain, and your self-esteem grows.

Did you read my other posts full of practical tips to improve your mental health daily ? Discover them here !

Remember that if you’ve moved one person in this world, you made the world a better place.

Take care !

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